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 Poetry: September 23, 2009 Issue [#3291] |
  Poetry This issue's editor: northernwrites More Newsletters By This Editor   1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions  Greetings from northernwrites, your editor for today's Poetry newsletter. Meter, rhyme, and form are not the only tools available for creating structure in poetry. Everyday things that you have been learning since you were a toddler and ideas cross-pollinated among the arts and sciences can enrich the creative experience and expand the possibilities for discovery. The best thing about them is that it doesn't matter whether you're writing free verse or traditional poetry. Today's newsletter will discuss a cross-pollination between elephants and poetry.    The Blind Poets and the Elephant [Our discussion today borrows snippets from a poem by John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887), "The Blind Men and the Elephant," his version of the Indian parable, which itself has many versions.] When beginning poets are urged to add imagery to their poems, their efforts often create effects like this: Example 1: Similes My zinxish is like a wall. Its sproints are round and smooth and sharp like a spear. Its kleersh squirms like a snake. Its pralnisk is like a tree. Its quorkle is like a fan. Its mrishtug swings like a rope. My zinxish is like an elephant, but really not at all. You don't know what a zinxish is, or what sproints, kleersh, pralnisk, quorkle, and mrishtug are. But you all know what a wall, a spear, a snake, a tree, a fan, and a rope look like, right? So now you can draw me a picture of my zinxish. In fact, each of you could draw me a completely different picture, and as long as your picture doesn't resemble an elephant, you could argue that you have created an accurate portrayal of my zinxish. My poor zinxish, however, won't be able to make up its mind what to look like, and may have a nervous breakdown and wind up as an amorphous blob of goo shaking in the corner under the bed. So what's the problem? Why doesn't the poem communicate better? The example expects the readers to make sense of the poem from what they already know, but the readers don't see any relationship between the six images. They look like completely separate things that don't connect to each other. The readers have no direction for how to combine these images when they visualize the zinxish. For them, it's like looking at a cartoon signpost with arrows pointing in all directions, and the labels on the arrows are in a foreign language, maybe even a foreign alphabet. If the example had used metaphor instead of simile, the lost reader problem would be even worse: Example 2: Metaphors My zinxish is a wall, A spear round and smooth and sharp, A squirming snake, A tree, A fan, A swinging rope. My zinxish isn't an elephant, not at all. The reader needs some direction about how the imagery fits together to describe the zinxish. How do we do that? We give the reader something else that he already knows about, and show him how to connect the individual images to this new structure. A structure that organizes the imagery and creates a relationship between the pieces of imagery can help the reader re-create one unified mental image similar to what the writer envisions, or layers of related images that are similar. A zinxish could be anything, but let's suppose this time that it's an animal. In basic anatomy we have a vocabulary of common body parts. We can use that for an organizing structure in the example. Although each animal is put together a little differently, there are similarities of function. Now your mental zinxish pictures will start to look more alike: Example 3: Simile with an Organizing Structure My zinxish has a broad and sturdy side like a wall. Its tusks are round and smooth and sharp like a spear. Its trunk squirms like a snake. Its knee is like a tree. Its ear is like a fan. Its tail swings like a rope. But you won't mistake Godfrey for an elephant -- at least I hope! Hmm. Godfrey still refuses to come out from under the bed. There must be something else we can do. This may require drastic measures. I'm going to have to ask you all to stop thinking about elephants. Not one thought of an elephant for at least the next five minutes! Oh, my! [Dodges as a purple elephant trots out of the bedroom, follows it to the living room, and finds it sitting on the coffee table looking for peanuts in the snack dish.] [The elephant begins to balloon up.] Ack! [Manages to get out the front door before the elephant fills the whole room, the table collapses, and the purple fades to gray.] People, people! I told you it was purple and showed you it was small enough to fit under the bed and through the bedroom door and light enough to trot. Why did you have to change it? You couldn't help it? Monkeys riding bicycles? Oh, right. I suppose not. But what really changed? The keyword of "elephant" came first in the description, instead of last or not at all. Sometimes a beginner's poem will forget that part altogether. When the readers are given the key first, the puzzle of what a zinxish looks like can be unlocked with similar results by all of them. [Peers in the front door: the little purple elephant with a bulging middle is curled up asleep in the empty snack dish, surrounded by the wreckage of peanut shells and the coffee table.] It looks like the excitement is over. What does this experience teach us about using imagery in poems? Some things to do:  Just adding imagery may not be enough to communicate effectively. Including a structure that the readers are already familiar with and creating relationships between the pieces of imagery can help it communicate better. An organizing structure can connect separate imagery into one combined imagery, or into layers of related imagery. It helps to remember to give the readers the key before presenting the puzzle you want them to unlock.Some things to watch out for: If you repeat something often enough, at least three times, it becomes part of the picture, even if it's not there. A powerful image can overwhelm weaker imagery and information that contradicts it. Another Example -- A Real Poem "Crystalomancy" is one of my poems. I've put the subtitle in a popnote so that you can read the poem without knowing that bit of information first, then check the popnote and read the poem a second time, and compare how well the two communicate. I'm quite certain you'll be lost the first time around unless you've had the same experience. Crystalomancy, by the way, is the formal name for gazing into a crystal ball. Crystalomancy dry slightly sticky elastic stretching surface tension glistening lighted faint glimmer spinning chameleon streaks of transparent color light fading dark orb snaps out of existence flick of moisture Okay. Raise your hand if you peeked at the subtitle before reading the poem the first time. You didn't want to waste time reading it twice, right? For you, the poem offers a different path to the lesson. Next time you write a poem, remember that your readers don't want to waste their time feeling lost either. Given the choice between a poem that will make them feel lost and one that they can understand, they'll read the one they can understand. How Could You Use This Principle?  In reading poetry, you could pause to consider how the poem uses imagery; for example: Did the poem give you a keyword at the beginning, at the end, or not at all? Did the poem use a structure to show you how to organize the imagery? Did the poem use imagery that made sense to you? Might the imagery make better sense to someone else instead? What assumptions is the writer making about what you know? Did the poem make you see something that wasn't there? Do you think the writer intended that to happen? Does it add to the meaning of the poem, or detract from it? Does the imagery in the poem contain any internal contradictions? Does the internal contradiction add to the meaning of the poem, or detract from it?[With good poetry, there is usually more to the poem than a first reading will reveal. Whether you're reading traditional poetry or free verse, pausing to observe structural details and to think about what they imply can reveal more of the meaning.]  In writing poetry, you could plan to use it from the beginning; for example: Give the readers a keyword in the title, the first line, or maybe in the second line. Give the readers an organizing structure that they already understand. Is everyone in your audience going to understand what you picked? Adjust what's on the page until they have a fair chance. Give the readers imagery that they can understand and show them how it fits with the organizing structure. Check for "noise" -- ---- Wording or ideas that appear more than once. Do they support or detract from your poem? Eliminate repetition that adds ideas you don't want to be there. ---- Internal contradictions between parts of the imagery and/or the structure. Do they support or detract from your poem? Eliminate contradictions that you don't want to be there.   In rewriting poetry, once you have a first draft or freewrite version on the page, you could look for places where this idea could help make your poem stronger; for example: Does the first draft of your poem already have a partially constructed organizing structure? Would completing the structure make the poem stronger? What does it need to complete the structure? Does the first draft of your poem have an area that doesn't have any imagery, but where you could add imagery that would coordinate with the rest of the poem? Does the first draft of your poem have areas that have some organized imagery that is being hidden by extra, unrelated imagery? Can you replace the existing imagery with new imagery that goes with the organized imagery, or take out what doesn't match? In reviewing poetry, you could use the same considerations in analyzing someone else's poetry that you would use for analyzing your own first drafts (see the sections on reading and rewriting, above). When you write the review, point out what you notice and make suggestions of any possibilities that you see.
Each of today's poems is about elephants -- because elephants never forget their keywords  :
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form  Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form Don't forget to support our sponsor! InstantPublisher.Com: Self publishing made easy and affordable. All file types accepted with many options. Starting at $100 for 25 copies in 7-10 days! Visit us today!  These comments were submitted in response to my previous editorial in "Poetry Newsletter (August 26, 2009)" on Marching with Cadences, on the principle of using pattern in rhythm. I appreciate all those who took the time to write in:selo Submitted Comment: Oh goodness, thank you so much for featuring my poem! It means a lot. Keep on writing, everyone :) NW: You're welcome. monty31802 Submitted Comment: A very ninteresting, informative newsletter... NW: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. comb Submitted Comment: Well, I have always looked for help in improving my writing, and this is certainly a helper. You really know how to do a newsletter. If only all newsletter editors did as good as articles as you! NW: Thanks! I'm pleased the newsletter was useful for you. Until our paths cross again, keep writing! northernwrites  To stop receiving this newsletter, go into your account and remove the check from the box beside the specific topic. Be sure to click "Complete Edit" or it will not save your changes. |
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