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 Poetry: November 18, 2009 Issue [#3387] |
  Poetry This issue's editor: northernwrites More Newsletters By This Editor   1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions  Greetings from northernwrites, your editor for today's Poetry newsletter. Meter, rhyme, and form are not the only tools available for creating structure in poetry. Everyday things that you have been learning since you were a toddler and ideas cross-pollinated among the arts and sciences can enrich the creative experience and expand the possibilities for discovery. The best thing about them is that it doesn't matter whether you're writing free verse or traditional poetry. Today's newsletter will discuss a cross-pollination between measured drawings and poetry.    Measured Drawings When Norm Abrams built a wood-working project on his PBS series, he always mentioned the "measured drawrings" that were available if you wrote to the address given at the end of the program. The measured drawings showed the pieces of the project pulled a little apart from how they were supposed to fit together, with labels and measurements. If you created a copy of each piece and assembled them as shown in the diagram, you could create the item yourself. The drawing made assembling the item a lot easier than just having a list of parts. In writing, we have a different kind of measured drawing. The diagram of a sentence shows how each part fits together with the rest of the sentence. The language has natural rules about what kinds of structure a sentence can have and what the word order means. It also has rules about how adding punctuation changes the structure and meaning of a sentence. When you write a poem, you need to know how a sentence can fit together because you're depending on those natural rules to help the reader make sense of what you write. You want the reader to get the same meaning out of the poem that you put into it. If you don't follow the rules when you assemble the parts of the poem, the reader isn't going to be able to follow your thoughts. If you choose not to use punctuation, it limits the kind of sentence structures you can use and still have the reader understand. Today we're going to look at how some sentence structures work (and don't work) when the sentence (or sentence fragment) is part of a poem. Mostly we're going to look at what happens with noun phrases. The noun phrase is a noun and all of its modifiers. The noun phrase doesn't include a verb, so it is not a complete sentence. A noun phrase by itself is static -- nothing happens. It's like a photograph, where a complete sentence is like a movie -- it comes alive and rises off the page. Obviously a complete sentence will have more power to affect the reader. English is built on verbs first. Using too many noun phrases that are not part of complete sentences is like tying your dominant hand behind your back. The noun phrase can contain verbals. A verbal is a participle (a past participle used as an adjective or a present participle acting as an adjective) or a gerund (a present participle used as a noun) or an infinitive (the verb's "to" form used as a noun, an adjective, or an adverb). Having the choice between including a present participle gerund as a noun or to include an infinitive as a noun gives a lot of flexibility to a sentence -- flexibility that can allow you to adjust meter and syllable counts. Using present participles can be confusing if the reader can't tell whether to interpret them as a participle adjective or as a gerund noun. Infinitives that have an understood "to" can also cause confusion, as can irregular verbs. How much of a load can a noun carry without being overloaded? As a rule of thumb, you can use one or two adjectives in front of the noun. If you use more adjectives than that, chances are high that similar ideas will be repeated or that some of the ideas are not important. Sometimes a noun is compound and needs two or more words to name the object, as opposed to describing which object. A word that is part of a compound noun isn't counted as an adjective. For example, if I am talking about brick houses, then big and red and small and tan are adjectives, but brick is not. If I am talking about different kinds of houses, then brick and wood and stucco are all adjectives. Some pairs of adjectives can be used next to each other without needing a comma between them; others do need a comma. If you don't want to include punctuation, stick to single adjectives or doubled adjectives that don't need a serial comma. Also, an adjective phrase used directly in front of the noun needs to be hyphenated (between each word of the phrase). The same adjective used after the noun does not need to be hyphenated. One of the adjectives can be a participle. A participle adjective used directly in front of the noun it modifies does not take a predicate, and using one per noun is plenty. Chances are good that the text won't flow very well if both adjectives are participles. A noun has two places where it can take a participle adjective that has a predicate: it can follow the noun, or it can be used as an introductory phrase separated with a comma from the noun and its other adjectives. The participle adjective that has a predicate and that follows a subject noun may need a comma after the phrase to keep it from getting confused with the verb, and/or it may need commas at both ends if it's not restrictive information. Chances are fair that a participle adjective that has a long predicate and that follows the subject will make the reader forget the subject of the sentence before he gets to the verb -- using an adjective clause is a stronger structure, and in complicated cases, using another sentence will work better.  Renaming one thing (appositives).noun-phrase-A[,] noun-phrase-B[,] noun-phrase-C[,] This photograph shows my younger brother Joe, the uniformed cop standing next to the cruiser parked on the corner, talking to his twin, John, an undercover cop dressed as a garbage man. Lines 2 and 4 are each examples of a noun phrase followed by two appositives. Lines 3 and 4 modify brother and are an adjective phrase (a present participle with a predicate consisting of a prepositional phrase) that follows the noun, making lines 2-4 into one very long noun phrase. Punctuation issues: No comma is needed between brother and Joe because the speaker has more than one younger brother and Joe is necessary information. A comma is needed between twin and John because John is not restrictive information. Similarly, this indicates that there is at least one other uniformed cop in the picture. Limitations: When an appositive creates modifier confusion, such as in the paragraph describing the examples, second sentence, and it can't be moved, then the commas that set it off need to be upgraded to dashes or parentheses. If an appositive is so complicated that it needs to contain commas of its own, it should probably be a separate sentence. The natural order for a chain of appositives like this is 1) relationship of the noun to the speaker or to the first person or thing in the relationship, 2) the name of the noun, and 3) a descriptive identification of the noun, followed by 4) the action of the noun if there is one. This allows the reader to assemble the information through "progressive growth from one seed" without having to assemble separate parts and later figure out how to "bolt" them together. Modifying one thing with a series of adjectives and/or adverbs that each further define and clarify wording in the preceding phrase.phrase-A || phrase-B || phrase-C the uniformed cop || standing next to the cruiser || parked on the corner Punctuation issues: If a phrase does not modify the word directly preceding it, a comma can indicate "go back one". If that doesn't get the reader to the right place, punctuation will not solve the problem. Something needs to be moved or omitted in order for the modifier to apply to the right word. Another problem occurs when one of the series items includes a comma. Limitations: It's usually not a good idea to use more than two serial modifiers at a time. That rule of thumb also applies to consecutive prepositional phrases. The important information in a sentence should be in the main clause - the subject and verb, along with the direct object if there is one. Important information gets buried if it is located at the end of a chain of modifier phrases. Modifying one thing with separate, independent, and equal characteristics.phrase-A || ===phrase-B || ===phrase-C phrase-A[,] phrase-B conjunction phrase-C For his previous case, John was assigned an unmarked cruiser painted a drab color and lacking any stickers to differentiate it from similar vehicles. An unmarked cruiser, painted a drab color and lacking any stickers to differentiate it from similar vehicles, is assigned to officers who work undercover. While on undercover assignments, John drives an unmarked cruiser painted a drab color and lacking any stickers to differentiate it from similar vehicles. Punctuation issues: Example 1 cannot use a comma after the first phrase, an unmarked cruiser, because the verb is a past participle that can collect any others that follow and apply them to the subject, John. With a comma, John gets the paint job and sticker-removal until the reader gets to "it", which makes him stop and go back to reread. "They know what I mean" probably works this time, but not all cases are this obvious. If John is going undercover at a football game, maybe team-colored paint on him is not too outlandish an idea. Limitations: When there are more than two modifier phrases, mixing different conjunctions can introduce the question of how to group those operations. The meaning can change depending on which conjunctions are applied first. A set of separate things of equal importance (list items) that have something in common (a classification) that might or might not itself appear in the poem[classification:] -- phrase-A -- phrase-B -- phrase-C classification: phrase-A, phrase-B conjunction phrase-C (without Oxford comma) classification: phrase-A, phrase-B, conjunction phrase-C (with Oxford comma) Along with his uniform, Joe wears his badge, his name tag, a radio-phone clipped to his left shoulder, two retractable pens, a spiral-bound notebook with the Miranda card printed inside the cover, a regulation handgun holstered on his right hip, a taser holstered for a cross-draw, a pair of handcuffs at the small of his back and body armor. Punctuation issues: The articles, numeric adjective, and possessive pronouns help mark the divisions between list items. Without the Oxford comma, that division isn't so clear between the last two items because the next-to-last item is long and the mass noun of the last item could connect to the preceding "his". Limitations: It's always easier for the readers to understand a list if the classification or introduction comes before the list items. When the list items are the subject, one solution is to use the list as an appositive (in dashes or parentheses) to a simple classification that takes the verb and predicate. The classification can also appear in the preceding sentence instead. The list of things Joe wears has a logical progression starting with things that are personally his, working through the rest of the things attached to his uniform, and ending with what's under his uniform. The kind of modifiers (how and where they are attached) also helps to separate the items. Two other possible causes of confusion are where the line breaks occur and whether the conjunction is included in the list. It's not a good idea to include modifiers that need commas (such as serial adjectives, introductory phrases, or nonrestrictive information) in a list item -- if any list item includes a comma, the list commas need to be upgraded to semicolons. A set of separate things of equal importance that are compound structures related by conjunctions, and that may all appear in the poem (uses "and"), some of which may appear in the poem (uses "or"), or which may oppose each other in the poem (uses "but"). One verb can cover all the elements of the set, or each element can have its own verb. Or it can be a set of separate clauses, each with its own subject and verb. [[subject] [verb]] [[subject] [verb]] phrase-A conjunction [[subject] [verb]] phrase-B conjunction [[subject] [verb]] phrase-C Joe rides along in a patrol car in cold weather and walks his beat in warm weather but in hot weather gets assigned to night duty at the reservoir because he's on the underwater rescue team. John collects trash from dumpsters for businesses at the mall, bars in the red light district, and sports arenas owned by a businessman the D.A. is investigating. Punctuation issues: Unless the compound structures are clauses, the conjunctions are not preceded by a comma. Limitations: In the first example, moving the weather phrase to the front of the last item helps to indicate that being on the underwater rescue team has nothing to do with his assignments during cold or warm weather. In the second example, the businessman could own only sports arenas, or he could own all three kinds of establishments. Putting the sports arenas first would indicate that the businessman only owns sports arenas. If you're careful about setting up what comes afterward, each new subject can rename the previous subject, allowing additional information to be given without repeating words. If you're not careful enough, it can look to the reader like they're separate subjects instead of the same thing. Another method that tells the reader "where things break apart," is using parallel grammatical structures. The structure of the individual items in the list should be "important idea first" in parallel, then the rest of it. As long as the first parts have the same structure, the rest can vary in structure as long as it's something else. The reader depends on the first parts being alike, and being the only things that are alike, in order to identify what the list is talking about. For example, these items have similar structures: rides along in a patrol car in cold weather and walks his beat in warm weather businesses at the mall, bars in the red-light district In the first line, the verb and the ending prepositional phrase about the weather are parallel, although what lies between them is different. In the second line, each plural noun is modified by a prepositional phrase about its location, although the prepositions and the number of adjectives are different. In good poetry, especially where there are more than two items to make parallel, something needs to be done to disguise the parallelism from the eye. Having lines start or end alike can become monotonous. Small variations such as those pointed out in the previous paragraph, or starting the units in different places in the line, can make enough of a difference to help the reader keep the sense of them being parallel without beating him over the head with the information. Another consideration is whether each list item has the same level of specific-ness -- Are they parallel in content? Generic or vague list items detract from a poem rather than increasing the level of detail.  Did you notice that often the solution to a punctuation problem is moving something or changing words, rather than just adjusting punctuation?How Could You Use This Principle?  In reading poetry, you could pause to consider whether a poem has created any modifier confusion, for example -- Did the poem have noun phrases that occurred next to each other? Was it clear what they were? Could you follow the grammar of the sentences, or did you get confused? Did the poem use modifier phrases to modify noun phrases? Could you tell which kind each was and what each modified?[With good poetry, there is usually more to the poem than a first reading will reveal. Whether you're reading traditional poetry or free verse, pausing to observe structural details and to think about what they imply can reveal more of the meaning.]  In writing poetry, you could plan to use it from the beginning; for example: What are the limitations for each kind of structure you want to use, and does your poem stay away from trouble spots? Have you considered where the structure of what you want to say will need to have punctuation in order to make sense to the reader? Are there places where rearranging the wording, changing words, or omitting words could let you get by without punctuation?  In rewriting poetry, once you have a first draft or freewrite version on the page, you could look for places where this idea could help make your poem stronger; for example: Does the first draft of your poem have any partially constructed lists or compound structures? Would cleaning up the structures make the poem stronger? What does it need to clean up each structure? Does the first draft of your poem have areas where the sense is muddled? Sorting out the structures and eliminating conflicts can help clear this up. Does the first draft of your poem have some areas where the level of detail isn't the same? Using the same level of detail and parallel structures can make your poem stronger. In reviewing poetry, you could use the same considerations in analyzing someone else's poetry that you would use for analyzing your own first drafts (see the sections on reading and rewriting, above). When you write the review, point out what you notice and make suggestions of any possibilities that you see.
Today's poems are about lists of one kind or another.
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form  Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form Don't forget to support our sponsor! InstantPublisher.Com: Self publishing made easy and affordable. All file types accepted with many options. Starting at $100 for 25 copies in 7-10 days! Visit us today!  These comments were submitted in response to my previous editorial in "Poetry Newsletter (October 21, 2009)" on Narrative Poetry, on the principle of telling classic stories. I appreciate all those who took the time to write in:pammierose Submitted Comment: My narrative poem:
Hugs, Pammierose NW: Thanks for sharing! monty31802 Submitted Comment: Thank you for another very well constructed newsletter. NW: You're welcome, and thanks! cookie_writer Submitted Comment: I had been thinking about trying to write a story this way but had no idea how to go about it. Thank you for the informative newsletter. It has helped me a lot. NW: Thanks! I'm pleased the newsletter was useful for you. fulldazegal Submitted Comment: I did this in my
NW: Thank you for sharing! punkinpie Submitted Comment: The newsletter was very informative. It put me back in English Lit class. NW: Thank you! I'm pleased the newsletter was helpful. Until our paths cross again, keep writing! northernwrites  To stop receiving this newsletter, go into your account and remove the check from the box beside the specific topic. Be sure to click "Complete Edit" or it will not save your changes. |
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