| Home | Stories | Poems | Articles | Photos | Links |
 Poetry: March 10, 2010 Issue [#3606] |
  Poetry This week: Stopping the Stampede Edited by: northernwritesMore Newsletters By This Editor   1. About this Newsletter 2. A Word from our Sponsor 3. Letter from the Editor 4. Editor's Picks 5. A Word from Writing.Com 6. Ask & Answer 7. Removal instructions  Greetings from northernwrites, your editor for today's Poetry newsletter. Meter, rhyme, and form are not the only tools available for creating structure in poetry. Everyday things that you have been learning since you were a toddler and ideas cross-pollinated among the arts and sciences can enrich the creative experience and expand the possibilities for discovery. The best thing about them is that it doesn't matter whether you're writing free verse or traditional poetry. Today's newsletter will discuss a cross-pollination between horses and poetry.    Stopping the Stampede Back in the days when horses were the engines that moved people and vehicles around, riders and drivers had to deal with the occasional runaway horse. If a horse was startled or frightened by something, it could panic and take a notion to run, taking the rider or the driver and vehicle along for the ride. The lack of control made this a hazardous experience. Vehicles were not built to withstand the forces of such rough handling on what passed for roads in those days, and a panicked horse does not think about allowing for clearance for its rider. Movies depict these dramatic situations as needing a strong hand on the reins and/or a death-defying stunt on the part of a rescuer. A runaway horse adds excitement to a movie. Meter is the engine that drives a poem. Sometimes a poem marches the reader along pellmell like a rider trapped on a runaway horse. A heavy, sing-song beat takes control of the read, overpowering the natural expression in the content and distracting the reader from the content. But a poet can't send in a daring hero to rescue the reader because the poem has to stand on its own. The poet has to prevent a runaway rhythm from happening in the first place. A runaway rhythm can happen when every foot in a poem is the same -- when the meter is perfect. This is why it's not considered desirable to have perfect meter in a poem. The meter is supposed to do its job quietly in the background. In "Poetry Newsletter (August 26, 2009)" , Marching with Cadences, I discussed the usual solution, which is to un-perfect the meter. The standard recommendation for solving this problem is to create small variations from time to time by substituting other feet for the main type of foot. These (usually) irregular departures from the steady beat break the pattern just before it starts to get obnoxious and then restore it, making it fresh again. The background rhythm fades into and out of the reader's consciousness.  Care must be taken not to substitute feet that create a rhythm that stumbles. As with everything else, the place where a pattern is broken receives emphasis that calls for the reader's attention. This means that using the places where the text won't fit the meter is probably not so good. It's better to rewrite and put the variations at places you want to emphasize on purpose. Is this the only solution? Hardly. Just the easiest. Not necessarily the best. Mary Oliver has noted that Robert Frost's Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening is a poem with perfect iambic meter that somehow doesn't fall into a heavy, sing-song rhythm when read aloud with natural phrasing. She didn't explain why. I was curious. Today we'll take a look at how the master poet did it. Here is the poem with the stressed syllables of the iambic feet in bold: Whose woods these are I think I know, His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. Looking at the poem this way reveals several reasons why the perfect iambic meter varies. The poem creates varying levels of stress by using some less important words in places that call for accented syllables. A less important word (such as a preposition or an adverb) doesn't take as heavy a stress as a vivid, specific verb or noun. The poem creates varying levels of stress by using multi-syllabic words (such as 'farm,house and 'pro mis,es) that have (')primary and (,)secondary accents. A secondary accent takes a lighter stress than a primary accent, or is counted as unstressed, depending on what kind of foot is being used. You can look up the accented syllables of words in a good dictionary. The notation system used in a particular dictionary will be explained in its pronunciation guide. The poem creates varying lengths of stresses by using long vowels or short vowels in the stressed syllables, and doesn't put them in the same pattern in each line. The poem interrupts the pattern by putting commas within some of the lines, adding an extra pause to the reading.An additional reason became apparent after I listened to an audio file of Robert Frost reading this poem. Checking Out the Poet's Version He read it "with expression" with some parts moving faster and some parts moving slower. This copy of the poem doesn't show the speed variations, but it shows where he put the emphasis and how much. This sounds more like natural conversation, and is more like how a Beat poet would use accented syllables in free verse. Whose woods these are I think I know, His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. The poem sets up patterns that create expectations about what follows, and then does something else. This is the Rule of Two and a Half -- two matching instances to set up a pattern, and a related "half"-match to break the pattern. For example, the accented words that get a full-sized stress versus those that don't, for each stanza, create an intricate overall pattern with layers of expectations, but don't "follow the rule" in each line, or from one stanza to the next. Note that some of the rule-breakers begin a new pattern, and that sometimes a pattern is re-established after a rule-breaker: 1-3- / 1-3- / 123- / 12-4 -- sets up "aaaa copied lines", then "aabb", breaks both -2-4 / 1-3- / -2-4 / 12-4 -- sets up "abab", breaks it; sets up "last line = 12-4" 1234 / 1--4 / 1-34 / -2-4 -- breaks "a new pattern"; breaks "last line = 12-4" 1234 / 12-4 / 12-4 /12-4 -- sets up "copied stanza", breaks with 12-4 repeats Other Effects Used in the Poem In this copy the spelling is changed to show a couple of the effects the poem creates. Onomatopoetic: I've emphasized the places that sound like the wind blowing -- the soughing of the long ee, oo, O (oh), and aa (ah) vowels, and the whistling ss's. Mimetic: I've also bolded the plethora of zz sounds that demonstrate the double "sleep" at the end. Whoozz wudzz theezz aare ii think ii knO, Hiz howsse iz in the village, thO; Hee will not ssee mee sstopping heere Too waatch hiz wudzz fill up with ssnO. Mii little hOrsse musst think it queer Too sstop withowt a faarmhowsse neer Beetween the wudzz and frOzzen layke The daarkesst eevening uv the yeer. Hee givezz hiz haarness bellzz a sshhayke Too assk if there iz ssome misstayke. Thee Onlee other ssownd'z the ssweep Uv eezzee wind and downee flayke. The wudzz aare luv-lee, daark, and deep, But ii have praamissez too keep, And miilezz too gO bee-fOre ii ssleep, And miilezz too gO bee-fOre ii ssleep. There are internal rhymes and alliterative effects using both vowels and consonants, and combinations of sounds. Patterns are set up and broken using the Rule of Two and a Half. The poem uses repeated words with variations, and keeps related ideas in balance, but limits the use of problem words, such as verbs ending in -ing: woods: stanza 1 x 2; stanza 2 x 1; stanza 3 x 0; stanza 4 x 1. be verbs: stanza 1 x 2; stanza 2 x 0; stanza 3 x 2; stanza 4 x 1 -ing words: verbs (1) = stopping; nouns (1) evening house in the village || farmhouse I think || horse must think with || without some || only other stopping || To stop darkest || dark internal rhyme: He 'will not 'see me -- see is accented, but he and me are not 'vill(age), 'will, fill -- vill and will are accented, but fill is not alliterative combination: of (midline) || Of (beginning) || lovely || have Here are a few poetic toys hidden away for the ear to discover: An answer to the question of "What promises?" -- The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promissus to keep, Onomatopoetic: the sound of snow falling off trees: v f p tch Mimetic: This line runs quickly through the first five words, and then slows: He will not see me stopping here Significantly absent: a rhyme that isn't used in the poem is "awake". How Could You Use This Principle?  In reading poetry, you could pause to consider what kind of meter the poem has, for example -- Did the poem have perfect meter, un-perfect meter, or flawed meter? If the meter was perfect, was there variation or not? What kind of variation? If the meter was un-perfect, did the variation point at something of interest, or a spot in the poem that was difficult to manage? If the meter was flawed, could you see ways to improve the flaws?[With good poetry, there is usually more to the poem than a first reading will reveal. Whether you're reading traditional poetry or free verse, pausing to observe structural details and to think about what they imply can reveal more of the meaning.]  In writing poetry, you could plan to use it from the beginning; for example: You could use less important accented words, multi-syllabic words with secondary accents, and caesura to vary the meter.  In rewriting poetry, once you have a first draft or freewrite version on the page, you could look for places where this idea could help make your poem stronger; for example: Check the first draft of your poem for patterns in the positions of less important accented words, multi-syllabic words with secondary accents, and caesura. Are there places where you could use the Rule of Two and a Half to add more layers of variation to the rhythm? Read the first draft of your poem with expression. Does the natural reading suggest places that need something else to avoid the rhythm taking over? In reviewing poetry, you could use the same considerations in analyzing someone else's poetry that you would use for analyzing your own first drafts (see the sections on reading and rewriting, above). When you write the review, point out what you notice and make suggestions of any possibilities that you see.
Today's poems were selected from entries to the site's December 2009 Quotation Inspiration contest. These didn't win, but the poets made an effort to master a difficult form. See if you can tell what strategies they used to manage the problems of the sestina: heavy repetition of words and words repeated in adjacent lines across a stanza break that need to be made less noticeable.
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form  Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter! http://www.Writing.Com/main/newsletters.php?action=nli_form Don't forget to support our sponsor! InstantPublisher.Com: Self publishing made easy and affordable. All file types accepted with many options. Starting at $100 for 25 copies in 7-10 days! Visit us today!  These comments were submitted in response to my previous editorial in "Poetry Newsletter (February 10, 2010)" on Compared to Rembrandt, on the principle of the differences between master work and student work. I appreciate all those who took the time to write in:dougrainbow Comment: The concept of art as interactive interests me. Viewers of the Rembrandt art might say it is about reactions of various listeners. Viewers of the pupils' work would miss that. What makes a poem "fair" or "unfair" in terms of conveying its meaning? I've been told "Skywriting in the Clouds" is unfair because the clues to its meaning are too obscure. It is about abortion from the point of view of the unconsenting father. NW: In the art world, the quality of a painting is related to how long it can hold the interest of the viewer. A "fair" poem gives the typical general reader who does not know the writer, enough information that they can figure out the intended meaning even if they don't see all the connections in the extra layers. If the information is being given indirectly, it usually takes at least three indirect references with a narrowing focus to direct the reader to the one desired conclusion. The references have to narrow the possibilities and eliminate any contradictions. A reference doesn't count unless it's likely that the typical general reader will recognize it. It's also unfair to make the indirect references themselves indirect. For example, indirect references of "death", "unborn", and "doctor" still would not equal "abortion". That combination could mean a miscarriage, a stillbirth, a fatal accident, a failed in-utero surgery for a birth defect, as well as an abortion. Adding "choice" would eliminate the first three options. What was added to eliminate the fourth option would have to be rather specific to the situation. Poetry that communicates tends to be specific. If a writer has something to say, he should say it clearly enough that it can be understood. It may be that poetry that's too obscure for others to understand the meaning, is about something that the writer isn't really ready to talk about honestly -- in which case, it's personal writing. redridinghoo Comment: Great newsletter, as usual  NW: Thank you! monty31802 Comment: A fine Hewsletter, points well made and packaged in a enjoyable read. NW: Thanks! copenator Submitted Item: "It's My Birthday and I Worked!" [ASR]Comment: Thank you for hosting this newsletter. I have found some real gems within to review. It is my passion to write and since finding the WDC I find that I also have a passion for reviewing others works. I've developed a poetic review that incorporates all the elements in a review and personalize the reviews with pertinent facts in the write I am reading. I'm hoping to get some feedback from other writers before I reveal it as a signature on my reviews and have asked one to check it out. Perhaps if you had a minute I could send you a copy of it for your opinion as well? The highlighted item is a contest entry for a group. The leader; francie; was then and has still been a great help to me over the year I've been on the WDC. NW: You're welcome. I think a review template that breaks down the comments by topic should consist of straight-forward one-word headers with minimal wml coding for emphasis, and should not contain explanations of what the header means or what the topic covers. (The comments added for each review should make that clear enough.) The template should serve to organize and showcase the specific content of the review, not overpower it. The template should be previewed when it is created, to make sure it doesn't have wml errors. Any headers not used in a particular review should be deleted rather than being left empty or saying "No comment" or "I didn't find any errors" (which definitely doesn't mean the writer can assume there aren't any errors). I don't think a header should be included for any technical area where the reviewer doesn't have some competence. (For example, if you can't spell, then don't mention spelling at all. You don't have to confess what you don't know -- just leave it out.) I classify disclaimers, extensive sigs, and lists of unrelated links as review bloating -- which is against the site guidelines. Advertising experts know that such overkill is ineffective and counterproductive. Showing respect for the writer's rights should be done in the language that is used and how the comments are phrased. I discussed these principles of respect in "Spiritual Newsletter (November 4, 2009)" .Hope that helps. storytime Comment: NW, I was absolutely fascinated with your descriptions of the drawings. It's amazing what good details will do to bring art in any form, alive. I was viewing the pictures in my mind's eye. Nice. NW: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Until our paths cross again, keep writing! northernwrites  To stop receiving this newsletter, go into your account and remove the check from the box beside the specific topic. Be sure to click "Complete Edit" or it will not save your changes. |
This printed copy is for your personal use only. Reproduction of this work in any other form is not allowed and does violate its copyright.
